A (not so) solid effort in pretension.

The title of today — How Nina Cavazos At Least Once a Week Fails to Maintain Her Hyper Functioning Lifestyle: An Overview.

This is true. I have to-do lists upon to-do lists, sometimes scheduling my daily life down to the hour. I will load grocery bags onto my shoulders, arms, & ankles so I don’t have to make two trips to my car. I will often not sleep if my room is dirty.

Then about once a week it sort of falls apart. I once dated a guy who called it “pulling a Nina.” I will lose my keys only to find them an hour later under the stove in a pot, fall asleep with chocolate in my pockets, miss a final. Today it was waking up incredibly late and then getting lost for over an hour in a city my hosts assured me was “the hardest place to lose yourself.” Going back to work from my lunch break I couldn’t get the key out of the door for about 10 minutes. After work I tried to go grocery shopping, got lost again, & somehow misunderstood how shopping baskets in this particular market worked. On days like these, I usually end it by putting on my pajamas as soon as I get home, eating one food item in large quantities, & watching a stupid movie. Today was no different.

Maybe this should be a comfort… I am the same person even half way across the world.

I walked through a fashion shoot on my way to work after lunch & snapped a picture. The woman in red is the model & the artists were quickly doing her hair & makeup in between shots while someone occasionally fed her fresh raspberries.

Today I began my work with the Spikes.

It was extremely hot today. It can be very humid in Virginia during the summer months, but there is always the chance for the escape into air-conditioning. Here, this is not an option. Everyone rushes to complete their errands early in the morning before eleven, then you retreat inside, shut the shutters, plug in electrical fans, & turn out your lights. For a few hours today, I sat in a dark room, sweat dripping down my back as I cataloged an entire shelf in the library with Mrs. Spike. It was worth it because I was able to learn some more Italian.

Also, American coffee is forever ruined now.

Today I decided people in Florence live better than people in America. The pace of life is more relaxed, but by no means slower. It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzied synergy of big American cities, like New York or D.C., & feel like you are constantly at odds with something bigger than yourself. 

This city was built for the human body, & it feels immediately familiar. My favorite time of day is in between lunch & dinner. We will cut up fresh fruit, stale bread, tomatoes, maybe some cheese, & make some tea while we work.

Tonight, Martino & Liza took me to a performance art piece showing in a small bar at the end of their neighborhood. A pair of artists, one woman a photographer and the other a DJ, collaborated on a project called ‘Havannalogica.’ The photographer went to Cuba & filmed the life of locals, & the DJ spun live music as we watched the movie. The bar used to be a bicycle shop, & the furniture & decorations were made from vintage bikes and roller skates. I wanted to take pictures, but the bar was through and through a local bar, & I felt I would look slightly ridiculous if I whipped out my little point & click to take pictures of it all. 

Afterwards, we got gelato. Meaning, I had gelato twice today. I tell myself this is okay since I walk most likely over five miles a day.

You have to hold a penny on top of the pig’s nose, which is over a grate, & you drop it. If it lands in the grate, you will come back to Florence, but if it lands outside of the grate, you will never come back to Florence.

I don’t pay attention to superstition in the slightest, but my coin hit outside of the grate, but then bounced up high & landed perfectly inside the middle of it. A group of Chinese tourists who had been unsuccessful in landing their coins in the grate were impressed & cheered for me.

I didn’t know about the earthquake until after I had arrived in Florence & was gratefully settling into bed. There were a lot of delays, but I slept on the train almost the entire way. I am sure I looked ridiculous. 

I was without a phone or WiFi, which led to a series of miscommunications & me taking a taxi in the rain to the place where I am staying. A friend from William & Mary grew up near Florence, & his kind friends have been gracious enough to give me their spare bedroom. What’s even more amazing is that Martino works at the Palazzo Strozzi, a museum in Florence & has had a professional relationship with James O’Mara for a few years. It’s a small world, even in Florence.

My first day at my internship felt overwhelming. It was raining, and the building where the O’Maras live is incredibly confusing & I got lost several times in the winding staircases. Good news: A baron & a baroness live above the O’Maras, & I asked the Baroness (without even knowing who she was) for directions. Then as I began my first project, archiving photos that are over one hundred years old, I spilled my cup of tea on the table. The photographs were saved. The view from the O’Maras is amazing.

Later that night, we went to the Spikes for dinner. During the three course meal, probably one of the fanciest meals I have ever had, the Spikes & the O’Maras amazed me with their lives. They kept my champagne glass full & I tried very hard to not get drunk. Later, Dr. Spike pulled me into his library to discuss grad school. He wants to “start the ball rolling” on grad school applications, & he has sort of taken me under his wing for the past few months.

I am so grateful for & humbled by his interest in my future, but you know how sometimes when you work so hard for so long at something, you are just so caught up in the struggle… & when it finally sort of just plops in your lap, you are unsure if you still want it? That’s where I am right now. I have been so passionate about art for so long, but it is sort of scary that “It” is actually happening for me now. I am sure this explains my large existential crisis the past month or so….

I arrived early in Hamburg. I ate dried fruit & tried to read, but I was too tired to focus. I then made my way to the Hamburg Hauptbahnhof, where I waited for over three hours on a cold bench for Meghan and Judd to meet me. I tried my best to remain zen, but my personal journal entries from that morning are riddled with self doubt & neurotic fears.